


hey wolf, there's lions in here

by firelordazulas



Category: Last Tango In Halifax
Genre: F/F, good birthday - eb, happy birthday betsy !!!, or should i say
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-19
Updated: 2016-10-19
Packaged: 2018-08-23 11:27:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8326060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firelordazulas/pseuds/firelordazulas
Summary: happy birthday betsy !!!!!!!! ur the best and congrats on being an Adult + also just on ur life in general. I'm celebrating ur bday by fucking finally writing u some more caroline/gillian, even if it's not everything that I want it 2 be





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [helenecixous](https://archiveofourown.org/users/helenecixous/gifts).



> happy birthday betsy !!!!!!!! ur the best and congrats on being an Adult + also just on ur life in general. I'm celebrating ur bday by fucking finally writing u some more caroline/gillian, even if it's not everything that I want it 2 be

Gillian fills up the rest of Caroline's wine glass. Caroline is gesturing wildly while ranting about some sort of school board related happenings, and Gillian can't say she particularly knows what's going on, but she looks beautiful when she rants like this. There's a light shining through the window behind Caroline and Gillian fancies it illuminates her like an angel. There’s something Gillian’s always loved about a woman talking about something she's passionate about, and with Caroline it's a perfect storm; limbs are flying, with head jerks and grunts for effect. Their wine goes unnoticed as Caroline waxes lyrical about one particular tosser and Gillian feels warm. That’s the only way she can describe it, the glowing, almost overwhelming feeling of being that in love with such a ridiculous individual - and Caroline is ridiculous, for all her pomp and class. In anyone else, Gillian would hate her frustrating mix of upper class ness, aggressive intellectualism, and drama queen tendencies. Gillian almost feels validated by Caroline: the snotty bitch had it all, but she was also an over emotional hot mess. Every time Gillian fucks up, she knows, at least, that somewhere Caroline has probably done something almost as bad, if on a different scale. The trouble is, every time Caroline fucks up, Gillian kind of just falls in love with her more. Of course, Gillian's already decided she's going to the grave with this secret still under wraps, with no one ever knowing of her feelings for her step-sister (and boy, she doesn't want to even try to think about how fucked up that probably is) but then, in classic Gillian Greenwood fashion, she fucks up.

Cut back to Caroline ranting and glowing and Gillian staring at her like a thirsty woman looks at the ocean (Caroline is certainly salty enough). They've had quite a few glasses of wine already, which is why Caroline's arms are windmilling quite so violently, and why Gillian is staring at her quite so obviously - usually Gillian tries to keep it in her pants a little better. Gillian's chin is in her hand as she doesn't look away from Caroline, until suddenly Caroline abruptly stops speaking. Her head is tilted to the side as she intently regards Gillian, who can feel her face heat against her will. She hopes Caroline will attribute it to the wine. 

Caroline’s smile is slow and warm and slightly scary. “What are you looking at?”  
“Just - just at you. Because you were talking. You know.”  
“Did you understand a word of it?”  
“Not particularly, though I did enjoy your energetic use of the words ‘tosspot’ and ‘fucktrumpet.’”  
“Well, I try.”  
Gillian ducks her head sheepishly, scrubs a hand over her forehead. “Anyway, do you want to get back to the, you know, swearing and waving your arms about, or?”  
“No, no, I think I’ve ranted enough for tonight... How’s Robbie?” It’s pointed and slightly malicious, and Caroline asks with a smirk only half hidden by her wine glass.  
Gillian blinks slowly, eyes large in the twilight. “You already know he’s moving out. I don’t know how he is; that was the problem.”  
“We are rather overdue a certain conversation.” Caroline leans closer, but it’s still in a lazy, arrogant sprawl.  
Gillian chuckled nervously into her glass, breath misting the plastic. “Really? What about?”  
“Why you married that idiot in the first place, obviously.”  
As Gillian laughs slightly too loudly, she hopes Caroline can’t tell it’s out of relief. “Seemed like a good idea, there was money involved, you know, that sort of shit. I wouldn’t say I regret it. Seems like I spend too much time on regret nowadays.”  
“I think that’s just part of getting old.”  
“Probably.”  
They both looked down, swirled the wine in their glasses. There was the appropriate pause, for the appropriate amount of time. Then, like an idiot, Gillan decided to break the silence. “Do you ever just want to, you know, just kind of… Go for it? Like, even with things you know you’ll regret 2 seconds later?”  
Caroline’s smile had been small but warm with a kind of patronising knowing-ness. “No, Gillian, I don’t tend to think that. I have a baby, and a school, and, just, Lawrence.” She made this all-encompassing hand gesture that made Gillian snicker. “I don’t have time for shit like that.”  
“Do you ever wish you could, though?”  
“Everyday.”  
“Guess havin’ that extra slice of cheesecake just doesn’t do it on the risk factor, really.”  
“No. No, it doesn’t.”  
It felt like a million things lay unsaid in the air between the two of them. The polite inability to mention the tension, to do anything about the unspoken agreement that nothing here could happen, possibly ever but definitely for now, seemed to flow between the top of them. Or, so Gillian thought. Caroline probably hadn’t even noticed anything. It was as if some kind of step had been taken, that Gillian had pushed their relationship over the edge in classic Gillian Greenwood fashion, that she’d pushed them both off that cliff without asking or thinking and now Caroline was going to have to pick up the pieces. Caroline was used to having to fix things. Gillian was sure she’d welcome the chance to fix this, in whatever way that eventually came about.

Gillian isn't as drunk as she'd expected to be when Caroline finally moves towards her. It's not a grand gesture, just a tracing of a palm across the small of Gillian's back, but the shiver that reverberates down her spine is undeniable.  
“Cold?” Caroline is obviously knowing, drifting forward to crowd against Gillian.  
“I think you know I’m the opposite of cold.”  
When Caroline kisses Gillian, she's smirking. There's an inevitability about the curl of Gillian’s hand in her hair, of Caroline's fingers along her collarbone, of the hum that burrs against Gillian's throat. 

Gillian wakes up to sunlight aggressively shining in her face and overly expensive pyjamas smothering her slightly. It turns out the clothes aren't hers, and neither are the curtains that are doing a monumentally shit job of blocking the daylight. She’s not that hungover, in the grand scheme of hangovers - or at least, she isn’t that hungover yet - but her mouth tastes terrible. She appears to not be wearing any trousers. Caroline is not present. It’s definitely not the worst place she’s ever woken up in; Caroline’s bed is ridiculously comfortable, with sheets that probably cost more than her entire rag tag collection times ten. It’s all done up in very elegant cream colours. It’s the most predictable bedroom Gillian thinks she’s ever seen. She can hear Caroline yelling at Lawrence and maybe her mother downstairs; every now and again she can hear the calm tones of her father interjecting. Bless him. Gillian gets in the shower and tries not to think about how this is basically every nightmare she’s ever had; her father, waiting for her downstairs, while she showers in her step-sister’s bathroom after they’ve ‘spent the night together,’ not that anything happened of course, probably. And she still doesn’t know where her trousers are.  
Absently, Gillian wonders what lie Caroline has told to cover for them. Maybe she’s just told them the truth, although that’s probably too much to hope for; Caroline does love a convoluted storyline, a nice little conspiracy to liven life up a bit. Caroline’s probably running around in a state of emotional turmoil currently, both trying to keep her chill and managing to be practically vibrating with her inability to keep anything on the down low. Gillain gives a vague thought to the noise of the shower before she turns it on: maybe Caroline just hasn’t told them she’s had a ‘visitor?’ Until she decides she doesn’t actually care and gets in anyway. The running around hiding an affair is only fun if you’re not truly trying that hard. That’s usually when it works best too, of course.  
“Oi, Caro?!” Gillian hollers down the stairs, just in a towel and dripping water everywhere. “D’you know what I did with my jeans?”  
“You spilt wine all over them; they’re in the washing machine!” Caroline yells back, and it feels almost depressingly domestic. Somehow, Alan and, in particular, Celia, remain almost ridiculously unaware of any sort of undertone, that any sort of suspicious activity may have gone on. “And don't call me that!”  
“Yeah, whatever.” Gillian swears down the stairs, the usual two fingered salute. 

When Gillian gets downstairs, it's to an odd sort of strained family atmosphere. She isn't wearing any trousers still, which probably doesn't help, and Caroline had somehow missed the large wine stain on this particular plaid shirt, so she doesn't look particularly well put together.  
Lawrence immediately gives her an untrustworthy side-eye. “Why'd you shower in mum’s bathroom?”  
“It’s got the best water pressure, dunit?”  
He continued to look unimpressed as Caroline had basically thrown Gillian's cargos at her. “They should be only slightly damp.”  
“Oh, thanks, love. Anyway, I should probably get off; got sheep to feed. See you later?” Nonchalantly, as if this happened everyday, Gillian had bussed Caroline on the cheek, easily and affectionately. Caroline's cheeks had heated. it had been subtle, but Gillian knew it was there, and internally she high-fived herself for a job well done as Caroline sent her mother furtive looks behind her fringe.  
“Yeah, sure, later.” Caroline had mumbled, and then went to fuss at Lawrence with her usual nervous energy. 

'Later' turned out to be at a family meal in a fancy pub. Gillian had casually seated herself next to Caroline, placed an arm along the back of her chair and played with her hair most of the night, the two of them talking and laughing with their heads bent together. Alan seemed delighted with how well they were getting on, Celia more concerned about how much they were drinking. Raff and Lawrence remained unconvinced.  
Gillian follows Caroline into the bathroom, pushes her into a stall and kisses her. Caroline has moved from the chaser to the chased and doesn't appear to know what to do with that transition; she melts into Gillian’s arms, all while murmuring about how her mother might find them.  
Celia does, eventually, come looking for them, at which time Gillian makes something up about how she thought her bra strap had snapped and she needed Caroline to look at it and that was why they'd been locked in the stall together, and Celia had obliviously overlooked the mussed hair, makeup, and clothes in classic heterosexual fashion. Gillian was a pro at lying to the parental figures in her life by now, especially when it comes to who she's sleeping with.

Caroline draws sleepy circles on the bare skin of Gillian's back. Over and over she trails her finger, following the natural dips and ravines of Gillian's sinewy muscle, and tries to think about how she's in love. She doesn't think about how no matter what they do, their parents just won't get a clue. She refuses to even consider how Lawrence probably knows, how Raff definitely does. The bed warmed skin of Gillian's back remains the most important thing in Caroline's purview.

**Author's Note:**

> the title is from run run blood - phantogram which is a great song 10/10 would recommend


End file.
